A Baking Adventure

This is a very embarrassing tale of what happens when I try to bake while my husband is sleeping.

I have been planning to make banana bread ever since I bought more bananas than I knew I would have time to eat before they rot (rotted?).  This morning, Mr. Man is uncommonly (and a little scarily) exhausted and he is still sleeping, and I couldn't sleep past 8. :(  So I figured I would do a little cute wife-in-the-kitchen thing and make banana bread.  So I put on an old apron, put some music on, and began.

Step one, find a recipe.  I pulled out my America's Test Kitchen Baking cookbook (thank you, Firstbrooks) and found the banana bread recipe.  I had made it once before from this cookbook, so I pulled out a couple ingredients and started pouring dry ingredients into a bowl.  The little voices inside of me (mostly of my Mom and my husband) told me, "The first thing you do when you start a recipe is make sure you have all the ingredients."  ... and I ignored it.  Stupid thing #1. 

I mashed the 'naners and then discovered the recipe calls for plain yogurt.  Oops.  Sorry, Mom.  I looked up a substitution for yogurt: sour cream.  Nope.  Crap. 

At this point I am wishing my mom was available by phone.  Mental note: do not ever bake again by yourself.

Then I spent the next 20 minutes searching for a different recipe for which I had all the ingredients.  I had already measured the dry ingredients for the other recipe, and we're almost out of flour and sugar, so I was trying to find something I could still use my dry mix for.  Almost every recipe I came across needed something random that we don't have in the house (and if I ran to the store real quick, I'm sure Mr. Man would wake up and freak out because I was gone).  I eventually found a recipe that I decided to try even though I didn't have any ginger or shortening, and I had already put in 1/4tsp too much baking soda.  Stupid thing #2?  (We'll find out).  I starting mixing ingredients with my handy-dandy hand mixer, making a fantastic mess.  I substituted butter for the shortening because the internet said I could, and left the ginger out completely. 

I finished mixing everything together and then went to get the chocolate chips to fold in.  ...and I had left them on top of the stove that had been heating up for about 45 minutes.  Stupid thing #3.  Half the chips were completely melted.  And what did I do?  Squeezed the bag, got 1 cup worth of chocolate goo, and "folded" it in anyway.  Stupid thing #4?  ("I didn't come this far to NOT have chocolate in my dang banana bread!")

I stuck the pan in the oven, set the timer for 60 minutes (or so I thought), and then commenced taking care of the rest of the chocolate chip mess.  I squeezed the rest of the goop out into a measuring cup and stared at it, sampled some, and grunted out of frustration a couple times.  I wasted a whole bag of chocolate chips.  So... I grabbed the pretzels out of the pantry and decided maybe I would try to make chocolate dipped pretzels!  Great idea, right?  So I grabbed foil because we have no waxed paper and made another extraordinary mess.  The whole time I am thinking, "I don't think that chocolate chips are meant for this, I bet it's not even gonna work," but I felt valiant for trying to save my mistake.

Somewhere in the middle of that, I realize that I didn't press start on the timer.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Ugh.  Really, I'm NEVER cooking again.  I'm so glad Corey is asleep for all of this.

So I commenced cleaning up, making a third mess with the flour, ending up transferring the bag to one container... and then into two because the first one didn't fit it all.  Good grief.

I sat down to begin this blog post, checking on the bread a couple times.  I went to check on Mr. Man a couple minutes ago, making sure he was still breathing, and he woke up and said it smelled good.  I laughed and mumbled something about having a baking adventure and I couldn't tell him all about it until I finished my blog.  He said, "Oh no!  You put cheese in it, didn't you!"  He always knows how to make me feel better.

Then he came out and promptly started eating the pretzels, saying that I should have greased the foil and stuck it in the freezer.  Great.  The chocolate won't completely harden and pulls off the pretzel when you pick one up.  Oh well.  I tried.

The bread is now out of the oven, and I know the center is gooey, but I had to pull it out because the top was burning.  We'll see how it tastes.  I'm a little nervous.

At least I didn't put in baking soda instead of baking powder.