On trying to be superwoman

You may notice my lack of posts of late, and the reason is simple.  When I think of writing a blog, I only think of bad things to say.  :(  Work has been extremely life-consuming and enormously frustrating, to be honest.  When I get home, I crash emotionally as well as physically and writing a blog that anyone would want to read sounds like a joke. :)  Of course there are moments when I forget about work, but I am normally enjoying them with Mr. Man and I don't want to leave him to write, as you must understand.  We don't get much time together.


Turns out, I have tried to be superwoman my whole life.  (Not completely without relying on Jesus)

I was the kind of kid that wanted to be a grown up.  I tied my shoes at 2 years old and my parents would hear me yell in my sleep "I DO IT!!"

I have always been the older sibling, and was "babysitting" them for as long as I can remember.  I even helped homeschool them a little bit.  (And the moment I turned 13 I was on everyone in the church's babysitting and housesitting lists).

I was involved in my church, teaching Sunday School, singing in choir, youth group worship team, VBS... the whole nine yards, starting as soon as I became a teenager.

Then in high school I extra-curriculared myself to death: Academic Decathlon, volunteering in the library, clubs... and took Advanced and AP classes... maintained above a 4.0 GPA... perfect attendance.  (Yeah, a lot of you reading already hate me.)  Oh, and I started driving and working right when I turned 16.

Then came college... when I took on a double emphasis in music, took over 18 units almost every semester, worked, was section leader, TA, secretary, and above for choirs... interned with a local Christian school's choral instructor... (and got mono senior year).

THEN I planned my whole wedding (I did have help from some very special ladies).

Insert about 6 months of "down time" where my job was not stressful, but Mr. Man's unemployment and me being moved to part time was.

THEN comes now.  I currently run Black Bear Diner Sacramento's accounts payable, HR (encompassing the MESS that is employee paperwork), and payroll "departments," I work with the inventory system, I have my foot in marketing and banquets, I keep up ordering some supplies for the restaurant, I manage the gift shop inventory and stocking, I field fundraising and advertising opportunities, I chase the managers around with my papers trying to get them to take a second and give me stuff I need to do my job... and I am supposed to be tracking daily sales, deposits, etc. (but that hasn't happened yet).  And that's just the defined stuff.  I was hired to be assistant to the owner, so often I pick up overflow off her enormous plate of stuff she's trying to do.  And I also work a little bit with her other businesses, although that is not happening much right now either.
And the restaurant industry has an element that I have never experienced at this level:  DRAMA.  On top of trying to juggle my duties, I am pulled in to an insane amount of drama, and let me tell you: I. hate. drama.

(oh, and I s'pose housework and laundry doesn't really count)

So there you have it.  And as you might have guessed, my best superwoman impression isn't enough to handle this job right now, and I am worn out.  I am having to learn how to let out aggression and frustration quickly, how to be ok with things not being perfect, and how to be satisfied with my best even when it's not enough. 

I am unspeakably grateful that I have the assurance that this is a learning time period planned by my Jesus, and not just "my life sucks."  Although I struggle with remembering it, He has a perfect plan and reason for everything. :)  And I would be remiss if I didn't mention how grateful I am for my wonderful husband, who has frustrations too working at the same place, but who is a constant encouragement to me.  The Lord is gracious to give us something solid and happy in the midst of such a raging sea of... mess.

(AND it's Christmas, and I am SO incredibly in love with it... when I get a second to remember what day it is.)   :)

So I been a'thinkin'...

You know those people whose "about me" sections are full of fun things like "I love to crunch leaves" or "I love the feeling of kneading dough"?  I always read those and think, "dang, how do they think of things like that, they must be just so full of life." I sigh, and go back to whatever I was doing, knowing that as a pessimist, I'm not very observant to the little things like that, and therefore I can never have a cool "about me" section of a profile.

So tonight I decided to make a list of little things that make me very happy and share them with you!  It was a really rewarding experience to dwell so long on things that make me happy. :)  You should try it.

• singing at the top of my lungs in the car
• the smell of wet trees
• the relief when my lower back cracks
• the moment my husband comes home
• hash browns
• sunsets while I'm driving
• the first few cold days (or sunny days) of the season
• when the grass is frosty and I get to be the first one to walk on it and make it crunch
• the first sip of coffee
• a clean house
• making my sister smile
• dress "shopping" (which really means, go try on a bunch of crazy dresses but don't buy anything)
• pie
• when the sun comes through the clouds in rays
• trees whose leaves turn red in the fall
• fun socks
• waves crashing on a rocky coastline
• days without mascara
• when you bite an apple and the whole piece snaps off
• buttermilk spice muffins from Mimi's
• listening to music my brother wrote
• long calls with galfriends
• the smell of the ocean in the air
• dreaming in French
• writing with purple pen
• birds chirping outside my window
• wearing something new for the first time
• the cello
• hugging my mom
• the smell of jasmine
• a nap on Sundays
• a kitty purring on my tummy
• window shopping at shiny things
• fresh peaches
• my dad or husband playing the guitar
• good hair days
• warm pumpkin scones
• when my nephew calls me "Coco"
• texts in the middle of the day from Mr. Man
• sweat pants and a ponytail
• the way my in-laws' dirt driveway sounds when we drive up
• green apple fruit snacks
• clean sheets
• pictures on my wall
• dark chocolate everything
• when you change lanes without hitting a bump
• choral music

What things make you happy?

A Baking Adventure

This is a very embarrassing tale of what happens when I try to bake while my husband is sleeping.

I have been planning to make banana bread ever since I bought more bananas than I knew I would have time to eat before they rot (rotted?).  This morning, Mr. Man is uncommonly (and a little scarily) exhausted and he is still sleeping, and I couldn't sleep past 8. :(  So I figured I would do a little cute wife-in-the-kitchen thing and make banana bread.  So I put on an old apron, put some music on, and began.

Step one, find a recipe.  I pulled out my America's Test Kitchen Baking cookbook (thank you, Firstbrooks) and found the banana bread recipe.  I had made it once before from this cookbook, so I pulled out a couple ingredients and started pouring dry ingredients into a bowl.  The little voices inside of me (mostly of my Mom and my husband) told me, "The first thing you do when you start a recipe is make sure you have all the ingredients."  ... and I ignored it.  Stupid thing #1. 

I mashed the 'naners and then discovered the recipe calls for plain yogurt.  Oops.  Sorry, Mom.  I looked up a substitution for yogurt: sour cream.  Nope.  Crap. 

At this point I am wishing my mom was available by phone.  Mental note: do not ever bake again by yourself.

Then I spent the next 20 minutes searching for a different recipe for which I had all the ingredients.  I had already measured the dry ingredients for the other recipe, and we're almost out of flour and sugar, so I was trying to find something I could still use my dry mix for.  Almost every recipe I came across needed something random that we don't have in the house (and if I ran to the store real quick, I'm sure Mr. Man would wake up and freak out because I was gone).  I eventually found a recipe that I decided to try even though I didn't have any ginger or shortening, and I had already put in 1/4tsp too much baking soda.  Stupid thing #2?  (We'll find out).  I starting mixing ingredients with my handy-dandy hand mixer, making a fantastic mess.  I substituted butter for the shortening because the internet said I could, and left the ginger out completely. 

I finished mixing everything together and then went to get the chocolate chips to fold in.  ...and I had left them on top of the stove that had been heating up for about 45 minutes.  Stupid thing #3.  Half the chips were completely melted.  And what did I do?  Squeezed the bag, got 1 cup worth of chocolate goo, and "folded" it in anyway.  Stupid thing #4?  ("I didn't come this far to NOT have chocolate in my dang banana bread!")

I stuck the pan in the oven, set the timer for 60 minutes (or so I thought), and then commenced taking care of the rest of the chocolate chip mess.  I squeezed the rest of the goop out into a measuring cup and stared at it, sampled some, and grunted out of frustration a couple times.  I wasted a whole bag of chocolate chips.  So... I grabbed the pretzels out of the pantry and decided maybe I would try to make chocolate dipped pretzels!  Great idea, right?  So I grabbed foil because we have no waxed paper and made another extraordinary mess.  The whole time I am thinking, "I don't think that chocolate chips are meant for this, I bet it's not even gonna work," but I felt valiant for trying to save my mistake.

Somewhere in the middle of that, I realize that I didn't press start on the timer.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Ugh.  Really, I'm NEVER cooking again.  I'm so glad Corey is asleep for all of this.

So I commenced cleaning up, making a third mess with the flour, ending up transferring the bag to one container... and then into two because the first one didn't fit it all.  Good grief.

I sat down to begin this blog post, checking on the bread a couple times.  I went to check on Mr. Man a couple minutes ago, making sure he was still breathing, and he woke up and said it smelled good.  I laughed and mumbled something about having a baking adventure and I couldn't tell him all about it until I finished my blog.  He said, "Oh no!  You put cheese in it, didn't you!"  He always knows how to make me feel better.

Then he came out and promptly started eating the pretzels, saying that I should have greased the foil and stuck it in the freezer.  Great.  The chocolate won't completely harden and pulls off the pretzel when you pick one up.  Oh well.  I tried.

The bread is now out of the oven, and I know the center is gooey, but I had to pull it out because the top was burning.  We'll see how it tastes.  I'm a little nervous.

At least I didn't put in baking soda instead of baking powder.

Apparently, when the moon is directly over your head, you weigh slightly less

This has to be a short post, unfortunately, because I NEED to sleep and I am procrastinating hoping that my man will come home before it's REALLY too late to wait up.  He's cooking tonight at the aforeblogged Black Bear Diner that opened yesterday (YAY!).  I put in an 11something hour day, came home, watched some Castle (YES!)... and I'm currently staring at the mess in my apartment wishing I had a little less zombie-ness so I could clean it.

FIRST I would like to blog a very happy birthday to Elizabeth Anne Grover, aka Lizzy, aka Porky.  This woman always puts the biggest smile on my face and laughter in my soul.  She amazes me in her capacity to love all people, animals, and things, and her loyalty to our friendship is my favorite.  I wish you the happiest last 30 minutes of your birthday, dearest, and I hope you are spending it sleeping instead of doing homework.  <3

ANYWHEYS, if you were to ask me how I am and how the diner is doing and you wanted to know the real answer, I would first say "I'm exhausted," which you would be able to tell by the look on my face before I said anything.  I am starting to get to dangerous exhaustion where my body says, "remember that since you had mono 2 years ago I SUCK and you can't handle being this tired?"  My second answer to your question would be "Really, really great!"  Jesus is SO good and I am so blessed with this job, with my family and my husband... Once you shave off the exhaustion, I am really a very happy woman inside.  The diner is doing just fine for being open for 2 days.  We have had busy dinners and not-so-busy breakfast (average lunch).  There's been emergencies, scares, confusion, drama, and mass chaos, but that's part of the package! :)  And overall, I believe guests are having a marvelous experience.


Here is a picature of me, Mr. Man, and Rrrrrandle at the diner, it's my favorite.  (Please note that I was in "casual" dress, as I actually had some time off at that moment.)

Bear-y Busy

So, sadly my blogging has slowed a little... not that you were hanging on the edge of your seat or anything....
BUT I have a good reason.  Let me give you a little update! 

We (meaning my boss and we the management team) are opening a Black Bear Diner in Natomas (W. El Camino and 80) the week of the 28th of this month!  Black Bear Diner, in case you haven't heard of it, originated in Mt. Shasta/Redding area of NorCal and is a cute family oriented, good ol' fashioned family cookin' type restaurant.  The theme, obviously, revolves around black bears, and I hope to take pics once we open of the cute decor and share them for those of you who can't come in person. 

So, naturally, opening a restaurant is a lot of work.  Especially for a relatively small team of people, of which I am one.  It is safe to say I had no idea how much actually goes into opening a business like this and I had no idea what I was signing up for!  While I am not unhappy or regretting "signing up" so to speak, I am thoroughly exhausted.  An average of 6 days a week and 55 hours a week - and a lot of mayhem and chaos.  We've had to postpone our opening a couple times (which is normal), but we are 98% sure of opening the 28th to the public!  My title is officially "Administration" which means I do everything.  I am the go-to, go-between, logistics manager, marketing manager, make-sure-everyone-does-what-they-should-be-doing person, paperwork chief, run-to-Walmart person, call-everyone-on-this-list person, "we haven't ordered that yet??!!" manager, and "let me move that to the top of the bosses priority list" lady.  (and SO much more)

SO, when I get home at night (sometimes 10:30pm) I hurry to relax (dumb) and do my severely neglected housework.  Oh, and sleep.  And thus, my blogging suffers.

BUT there will come a time when the restaurant is open and thriving (Lord willing) and I will be back to 40 hours a week and free-ish evenings.  And maybe a massage and a pedicure, hehe :)

I am definitely not used to working this much, and I have not been this tired since college.  I can't believe I was more than this exhausted for FOUR years!!  No wonder I had mono senior year. 

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that my excellent husband has been hired as a line cook for the Black Bear Diner!  He has already started pre-training at the BBD in Sonoma, and he is rocking the house.  *Beaming*  He quit Chipotle (they were very sad to lose him) and the Diner will provide him with more money and more opportunities.  It's also more along the lines of what he really wants to be doing, working in a real kitchen.  And we kind of get to work at the same place.  Don't worry all you skeptical people, I won't be his boss in any way. =P

Has anybody ever been to a Black Bear before?  I hope that any of you local people will come visit after we are open!  We also have banquet facilities available, because I KNOW all of you have business meetings you need to schedule with us, haha.

Other than work, I have snuck in a little bit of fun with celebrating some birthdays and such, yay!  Here are a few of my pictures from the summer (the rest are on Facebook):

adorable nephew Kaden and Pop at Ikea

Mom, Dad, sister Cathryn, and me at Music Circus - 42nd Street

us'ns around Labor Day at Kaden and Pop's bday party

I don't like not understanding

I originally started this blog thinking that I would post sometimes about "deep thinking stuff."  Like my thoughts on feminism, or the Christian culture, or human pain, or what true love is, or my pet peeves about people...  but honestly, I hate conflict, and posting my deeper thoughts to the public is a recipe for drama.  No thanks.

BUT

When I have spent the last week seeing SO many girls come to apply for a family style restaurant in the most revealing and inappropriate of outfits, I have to think out loud a bit.  I really want to figure it out.  Do girls come to the interviews revealing so much because 1. that's what they wear every day and it's what their "personality" dresses like or 2. do they honestly think that it will impress the men interviewing them enough to score them a job?  OR 3. do they think that looks professional? or best yet, 4. do they even think at all?  Help me here, society, because I really don't get it.  Yeah, ok, so I'm a mildly conservative person and I think wearing revealing clothing is not a good idea in any public situation, but I really thought that a job interview, especially in today's market would bring out the best in people.  Logically.  Especially (if they read the ad) for a family-style restaurant?  Am I old-fashioned?  Let me clarify by saying that the immodesty I am talking about is extreme, supported by the opinions of the hiring managers I am working with.
And of course, if #2 is true, what does that say about the men in our society doing the hiring?  I heard someone postulate today that men hire girls that "dress to please" even for family style restaurants because married men with kids need something nice to look at.  If words could describe the contortions of my face...

Don't even get me started on the guy that came in with a dirty white tee and a big bright bracelet that said "boobies" on it.  That's another vent in and of itself.

Couchin' it up

The plan tonight was to be productive.  We haven't unpacked from our quick weekend trip to LA yet and there's laundry to do and grocery shopping to do... but somehow I can't move from the couch.  The same thing happened last night.  This is not good.  When Mr. Man came home at like 11:15 last night from class, I asked him sheepishly if it bothered him that I wasn't productive and he assured me he didn't mind.  It's nice to have a husband that understands when you worked all day and you just want to stare at the computer screen all evening.... two nights in a row.  All that to say that tonight is definitely not over, and maybe I will get up and do something yet.

My mind is not only fried from working a fairly insane day (a little long too), but it is heavy with concerns for people dear to me.  Several of my friends are experiencing painful life experiences right now and I just wish I could help.  Unfortunately, I live far away and words are all I have (which normally suck and aren't that helpful).  I am glad that they all have Jesus to comfort them.  This world is just so full of pain, I see it everywhere!  I find myself often saying this little motto:  "Life sucks, Marriage is great, and Jesus is best."

By the way, it is National Night Out tonight.  What does that even mean and why have I never heard of it before?  Is it a Sacramento thing?  Our apartment complex is doing some shindig for it (I'm not going because I am husbandless because he's in class, and somehow it just seems weird).

So anywheys, this last weekend we went to LA to see Troy and Melody Rankin tie the knot, and spend all hours in a whirlwind of hanging out with cool people.  It was SO GOOD to see such good friends and SO refreshing.  It was fun to hang out with other couples too.  One of the highlights of the trip for me was spending time with ma cherie Jenny who is getting hitched in December.  I am her Matron of Honor, although I hardly consider myself a Matron.  I have no children and I wouldn't call myself matronly... would you?  Hm... maybe don't answer that.  But anyways, Saturday we were able to buy her super gorgeous wedding dress!  WHAT an honor for me to be there!! YAY!!! We also took an adventure to downtown LA for a bridal shop... we had neither of us been to true downtown LA other than the concert halls.  Let's just say it was interesting and leave it there.  I wish I took more pictures of the whole trip, because then I would share some with you, but alas and woe are we.  No pictures. 

Did I mention we got internet in our apartment?  We are Comcastic now.  It is excellent to have reliable internet again... and it enables me to sit here on the couch and not do laundry.  oops.  

Perspective

So I lay down to try and sleep about 10 minutes ago, hoping that even though Mr. Man isn’t home yet, my body would win over my mind and I could sleep.  I realized that the past two Mondays I had blogged, and I thought that it was a pity that I hadn’t.  Then my mind wandered to all the things I could say, and I had some great perspective changes about my day… my week… my life… you know how that goes.  So here I am, NOT sleeping, and blogging instead.

I am so incredibly happy.  I am living a dream.  My whole life I dreamed of “growing up,” having a job I liked, a husband, and a place of my own.  (Kids are negotiable as of today.)  Our apartment is a dang mess right now.  I have forsaken my wifely self-appointed duties of laundry, dishes, and general picking up for the last few days… and we picked up and moved in a new couch and a dresser from Freecycle today (YAY!), and therefore disarray prevails.  (I didn’t even have the productive means to move the clothes from the bookshelf into the dresser!)  Normally the guilt of not doing my chores weighs on me and I feel like “a bad wife” and I get caught up in the trivial.  Excuse me?  I have my own apartment!  With dishes that CAN be dirty!  And although we’re still living off peanut butter and dry corn flakes, we have food!  And clean water!  AND I have a husband who loves me more than I understand, who is off doing something that he loves (I think he’s doing Floribbean Cuisine tonight)… we both have jobs we enjoy.  Hello, silly self, this is AWESOME!

An Opportunity

I very sincerely miss the beach.  I miss deciding to go out in the heat and the sun and I might even miss the sand between my toes!  There are many things that I don't like about the beach, but it's such an integral part of summer!  There are so many great summer memories at the beach.  I keep feeling like summer is going by way too quickly and I'm missing out on chances to enjoy it.  Unfortunately it is hotter here in Sac than it was growing up in Hollister.  I miss that ocean breeze and the ability to take a night walk down to the park and not get mugged.  Hopefully, Mr. Man and I have a chance this summer to make our own new summer traditions. :)

I have one of those tired brains right now that thinks of plenty of things that I could tell you about, and when I start to type it, I feel like I don't have the energy to write about it.  Ever have one of those days?  I was up at 6 this morning after helping Mr. Man with his homework until late last night.  I needed to do all his typing for him because he overworked his arm muscles last week from cutting too much meat and veggies!  But he did bring me home some awesome Applesauce Cake with walnuts, raisins, cranberries, and a caramel sauce from one of his classes.  It was so interesting helping him with his homework, all of the old frustrations from unclear syllabii or silly petty assignments came rolling back to me.  Corey kept having to remind me that this was HIS homework and not mine, and I didn't have to deal with it, just type it.  :P  I am very happy that I don't have to be in school right now. 

Well, the original reason I began to blog tonight was to ask you to seriously consider supporting my sister and my family members in this year's annual Disneyland 5K and 1/2 Marathon event to support the A-T Children's Project.  I have mentioned this a few times, or at least my sister's disorder, and here is a very real opportunity for you to help.  Your money to support my Mom, Dad, Brother, and Cathryn will go directly to finding a cure for A-T.  Read more HERE.  Corey and I really wanted to participate this year, but we weren't able to because of funds and such.  Next year we plan to be asking you to support US. :)  I really hope that you will actually take a minute and really think about helping.  There are so many people asking for your help these days, and I would never push you to give money, I just would like the justice of you actually seriously thinking about it!  Thank you, friends.  It means a lot to me and my family to have people support us in prayer as well. :)  If you are planning to pray for us or to support, please leave a comment so I know there are some of you out there!

Well, I have to get to some laundry.  I have to do it like 3 times a week because of Mr. Man's uniforms.  Praise Jesus we have a washer and dryer in our apartment!

Everyone should like peach Snapple.

I am currently sitting in Barnes and Noble, listening to my Pandora station featuring Lady Black Mambazo and the Soweto Gospel Choir.  I love this music.  It is relaxing, harmonious, and just cuts straight through to the soul. The guys behind me are studying US History... I do not envy them.  I really am not a history person.  Unless  you're talkin' music history, then I perk up. :)  And I just finished watching an episode of Castle on Hulu, gotta love Nathan Fillon.  Watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog is extra hilarious after watching Castle or Firefly.  (If you have not seen Dr. Horrible, it is TIME.)

Sigh.  My man is in class, thus this "free time."  I hate to disappoint you, but I would much rather be hanging out with him, than writing a blog. ;)  He has night class Mon-Thurs this quarter (that started today).  Rough stuff.  It's gonna be a hard 3 months for him (and us).  He is absolutely loving working at Chipotle.  I visited him the other day (I am so grateful I have a flexible job that allows me to do that!!) and I watched him working hard in their exposed kitchen, making "cilantro-lime rice" at the moment I was in line.  I am so very proud of him.  He is so impressive.

Jesus is so good to us, and our situation is finally looking up, after 6 months of marriage (as of last Friday!).  I'm looking back, and it's really amazing how far we've come as individuals and as a couple even just in 6 months.  We've learned a lot, and I'm sure we will continue to learn!  What an adventure.  I saw the other day off I-80 a single sunflower growing as if it was defying the ugly freeway and the dead grass around it, saying "Today is a beautiful day! And you can't stop me from enjoying it!"  I marveled at having even noticed the sunflower in the first place, and then smiled to myself.  Life is beautiful, despite the road being ugly sometimes.

So, I will be trying in the next three months to find something to do with all the time I can't spend with Mr. Man... exercise is on the list, but as you can see, it didn't work tonight.  Read more books is on the list, but I am currently having a rough time getting into Uncle Tom's Cabin, and I hate starting another book when I haven't finished one.  Yeah, I'm one of THOSE people.  Keep the house clean, the laundry done, and the dishes clean are all on the list, so far so good on those.  Cooking/baking will make it on the list when we have more money for ingredients.  Poor Corey had to have an "emergency hot dog and cheese sandwich" on his hour break between long classes today.  And I had corn and an egg for dinner.  So far playing a lot of Animal Crossing has been topping the list... gotta catch all them fish.  Everything else I can think of costs money... so I'll keep brainstorming.

In other news, the documentary featuring Tim Borland running 63 marathons in 63 days for A-T (my sister's disorder, read this post) is coming out on DVD soon!  There has been some great hype about it, including a screening on TV, starring my fabulous sister. :)  If you are interested, click here.

I hope you have been able to see some beautiful things lately.  Even if the road you are on is ugly.  Enjoy some peach Snapple, that oughta cheer you up. :)

Many much excitements

Boy do I have tons to say!!

1. I got a new job, which by now you probably know, but now I finally have time to sit down and explain it to you!  I am now the Marketing and Bookkeeping Manager for the owner of several businesses.  (For you Master's people, it's Morgan Justice's mom!)  It's hard to put a title on it, as it is more like a personal assistant job, and while most of my duties will have to do with bookkeeping and marketing, I will wear many hats. :)  Eve (boss-lady) just has an unbelievable amount of stuff on her plate and she has hired me to help (permanently)!  It feels sort of like I have skipped the whole "work ladder" and am now all the way up in corporate, working right next to the "big boss."  I will be working full time for Eve, and she will pay me much better than any job I was hoping for.  If you are wondering how the heck this came about, Eve and her husband met me on our trip to Israel and Italy last summer.  Their daughter Morgan is in the Chorale and so they came on the trip (as many parents did).  They got to see me "in action" as the Secretary for Chorale, and ever since then, Eve has had me in the back of her mind.  Isn't it amazing how the Lord plans things?  And His timing is perfect too, because working at DMH for a year prepped me immensely for the things Eve needs me for, from Quickbooks to understanding the workings of a small business.  I am currently transitioning out of DMH, because leaving my boss flat at the start of the busy season would have been awful.  We actually hired someone new for my job yesterday, I will be training her 12ish hours a week for the next 3ish weeks and then I will quit.  It will be great to work only for Eve full time because I will be able to concentrate better and get my whole head in the game.  Right now I am working two jobs at once, which takes a lot outa ya. :)  Another wonderful thing about working for Eve is most of the businesses I will be working with are located in Natomas, just down the street from our apartment!  Once I am done at DMH, I will not have to commute 40 minutes anymore! YAY!  So lets review: full time, great pay, working for a great Christian lady, down the street, very elite, (oh and benefits)... So much more than I hoped for!  The Lord is SO great!

2. COREY GOT A JOB!!!  You probably knew this by now also, but it is so worth jumping up and down again. :)  My poor husband has been looking for a job for six months, and a week ago he had his first day of going to work while being married!  If you are a man, I'm sure you understand how important and awesome this is, and if you aren't a man, hopefully you have a good idea.  He is working part time at Chipotle Mexican Grill (which happens to be one of our most favoreet places), it is not the closest one as it takes about 20-30 minutes to get there, but we aren't complaining.  (For local people, it's the one in Loehmann's Plaza in East Sacramento near Sac State)  It's so perfect for him, he gets to be a grill/prep cook and the company is a great company to work for as well.  He even gets medical insurance after 30 days!  We are just soo excited.  He is on a three week break between quarters right now, which is helpful for training.

3. Speaking of school, Corey got all As last quarter!  He excelled in his classes, and one of his chefs asked him to TA for her next quarter! I'm SO PROUD!!

4. Also, my favorite maid-of-honor ever got engaged last weekend!!  To try to make another long story shorter, we went to Yosemite last Sunday to hang out with Jenny and Jared (after spending the first part of the weekend camping with the Hunt family, which was fun.... and dirty).  Jared had contacted me ahead of time about buying the ring, talking to her dad, and planning to propose in Yosemite.  I am so grateful that he included me!  We hiked the Vernal Falls trail, turns out I'm WAY out of shape even though I've been running on the treadmill a lot recently.  Ugh.  We got super wet from all of the mist from the huge waterfall, but it was SO beautiful!  Corey and I stopped a little ways from the top of the stone stairs up to the top of the waterfall because I was too tired and let Jenny and Jared go on alone.  He proposed at the top of the falls and she was so surprised!  And of course just BEAMING happy.  :)  They are still deciding on a date.  This is just such an exciting thing for me to see Jenny so happy.  And of course I like Jared lots too. 

So things are definitely looking up for us, praise Jesus!  He has taught us so much through the past 6 months about ourselves, about our marriage, and about Himself.  We are so grateful! 

Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with Thee;  Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not, as Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;  Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see;   All I have needed Thy hand hath provided— Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

(Lyrics by Thomas Obediah Chisholm)

I am bursting at the seams with gratefulness to the Lord for what he's done in the past couple weeks!  I will have more details later, but I have a new job that is better than anything that I could have dreamed of getting!

Hello, June

So, we've lived in Sacramento for a full month now.  We love our place so much, it is quickly becoming a dear home to us.  We've been able to have people over several times in the last month, and it's not weird because we have a door on the bathroom!  hehe.

And we like living in Sac.  I really am a city person... maybe not a downtown city person, but I enjoy living on concrete and visiting the busy areas.  I looked up a bunch of fun "touristy" things to do in Sac because I want to experience the city I live in: museums and parks and festivals, mostly.  And of course, most all of it costs money, so we'll just add it to the imaginary list of things to do later when we have a magical amount of money!  I think for a city, though, Sacramento is very pretty.  It is, after all, the "City of Trees" (turns out I'm very allergic to trees).

The fact that it's June is a little scary on the job front.  We had expected Corey to get a job much faster once we lived here, and so far no good.  Hopefully the more he sends out resumes, the higher the chances of somebody realizing his potential?  We are just reminded every day that Jesus has a plan, and the need for prayer.  We are hoping to make friends and connections at the new church we've been trying.

There is hope for me to return to full time in the next couple weeks, hopefully sooner than later.  As soon as it gets hot for a couple days, all the commercial stores we deal with will have air conditioning problems and we will have work.  More work = more money = Crystal can work full time!  Yay!

This last long weekend was a lot of fun, we got to hang out with a lot of people!  (and I like hanging out with people... I'm a bit of an extrovert)  The weekend included Turtle, friends from Masters (Majesty!), and the Hunt family we hadn't seen in a while.  Kaden (my almost 2 year old nephew) is getting cuter every day.  Last night he figured out how to say Corey's name!  It sounds a little like "krowee" and every time he said it the whole family burst into happy noises.  I am a little jealous, not gonna lie, but apparently Crystal is a lot harder to say than Corey.  I think he sort of said my name once, and it came out "Co-Co."  I would not mind being Auntie Coco.  I like chocolate.

Living with such little money is a wonderful learning experience about what we really need in life.  True, better furniture and clothes that fit would be nice, but we don't need them.  I have struggled with this idea my whole life.  Not growing up with a lot of money gave me a sort of defiant attitude, telling myself that I would not grow up to be "poor" and that there are things in life that are necessities because everyone else treats them as necessary.  Of course, ironically, you can't follow your dreams and be rich at the same time if you want a life of music and a husband who isn't a doctor. :)  So here I am, with less money then I've ever had in my life, and still very happy!  Thanks to Jesus of course, who saved me from the materialistic wasteland of LA, jobs in retail, and a depraved and selfish mind (still a work in progress).

I'm so excited for summer... especially strawberries and peaches.  Apparently fruit dictates a good portion of my body's happiness.  :P

Fun?

So we were at church today (our second week at a church we like a lot, more on that later) and we were talking to the pastor and he asked me what I like to do for fun.  I paused for a second with an "uhhhh" and realized I had no ready answer!  What do I like to do for fun??  Aside from just hanging out with my wonderful husband, I'm not really sure!  Turns out college and a lifetime of school didn't leave me with much "fun" time, and although it's been a year since school, I'm just now figuring out what I like to do in my "spare time."  Here's what I've been coming up with (of course too late to tell the pastor, I think I just mumbled something about reading...):

What I do for fun:

1. Be busy.  - apparently I don't really like having tons of spare time.  I'm more comfortable in a busier environment.  I am fully aware that my life will once again become busy once the job situations change, so I'm trying to enjoy my time now.
2. Be on the computer - ok, so it's sort of hard to tell people this is what I like to do for fun, they'll think I'm a couch potato or something... but I really enjoy connecting with people and stuff over the internet, especially when none of my friends live nearby.  (including this blog!)
3. Play a select few video games - I've written about this before, Little Big Planet, New Super Mario Bros Wii... most all of them I won't play by myself though, except for Animal Crossing (Wii).
4. Play the piano - this is a recent thing, as we only got a keyboard (a sad substitution for a real piano) from my dad, and it only works about 30% of the time.  But I LOVE to sit down and sight read something out of my easy piano classics book, it is so relaxing.  Corey has been picking up playing a little too, in fact that's what he's doing right now as I write this!
5. Read - I have recently picked up reading again after many years of schooling stealing my reading time.  I used to be a voracious reader when I was young, reading books way ahead of my reading level, devouring them like candy.  And our new apartment has lighting and comfortable conditions that make it easier to read.  I started out reading an old favorite (and an easy read) Martin the Warrior by Brian Jacques, part of the Redwall series.  I own all of the books except a few, and this one was my favorite.  For those of you who don't know Redwall books, they are about woodland animals who fight wars, basic good vs. evil.  Each type of animal has its own dialect or accent that makes it particularly enjoyable.  After reading that, I borrowed A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens from my mom, who loves Dickens.  I had only read a Dickens in high school, and I barely remember even which one it was.  I should really write a whole blog post on A Tale of Two Cities because it was AMAZING.  Dickens has an ability to paint a story like nothing else I have ever read.  I read it in three days, enthralled with the story, the descriptions, the characters, everything!  It was not an easy read, but thoroughly enjoyable.  Next I am going to read Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe.  (I enjoy mostly classical fiction)
6. Scrapbooky stuff - I have always enjoyed scrapping, but it is a lot of work and a big mess, so I don't do it that often.  I am thinking I should do it a little more now that I have more time...
7. Shopping - this has always been one of my favorite pastimes, so it must be included on this list.  However, we all know that I cannot afford to do ANY shopping these days... so I need some other hobbies.
8. Watch TV shows online - this is also a problem, since we have basically no internet.  So far I've been to Barnes and Noble a couple times to get my fix.  (Dancing with the Stars final this week! EVAN!!!)

Well that's about it.  As you can see, I need some more stuff on the list.  Unfortunately a lot of the things I like to go out and do cost money, such as going to see the opera (NY Met Broadcasts to the movie theaters) or going out to coffee/dinner with friends.  I also am fully aware that I need to add exercising to the list, but it's really not FUN, so...

Cathryn's Story

You might remember me mentioning the booklet that I helped my sister Cathryn write called "A Story About Me and AT" and promising to post it.... well here it is.  If I could only describe the work that went into this...

In 2000, Cathryn Achilles was diagnosed with Ataxia-Telangiectasia, a debilitating genetic disorder for which there is no cure. The following is her story in her own words:

I shuffled across the stage in my daisy costume, trying to point my toes and keep my gigantic lace bonnet from toppling off my head. The crowd roared and I bowed again and again, soaking up their applause with all of my soul. I knew then, at the age of five that I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up.  This dream as well as many others dwindled after numerous doctor visits and blood tests finally proved my parents’ concern that there was something wrong with me. I was 8 years old when we learned that I have a disease called Ataxia-Telangiectasia (A-T), a rare but deadly disorder which has no cure. I was in tears when my parents told me and my two siblings that my life will never be the same.

Not long after my diagnosis my family and I headed for Johns-Hopkins Medical Clinic in Baltimore to learn more about A-T.  While we were at the hospital we discovered a number of complications we would have to endure, the biggest one being gradual loss of muscle control.  For example, I aspirate liquids when I drink, I need larger prints to help me read, and I need a special keyboard to help me type. I needed a walker to help me walk—and now I use a wheelchair.

While the disease mainly affects my physical body, it affects my emotions and feelings as well. There are many struggles that come with being disabled or handicapped, but I believe Jesus Christ has His reason for each one.

One of my greatest struggles is making friends.  People look at me and they see “wheelchair,” not me or a potential friend. They prejudge my character and assume that if I am in a wheelchair, my personality must be limited. My true friends have stayed with me through the difficulty of my disease, but many have given up. It is even more difficult now, since my family moved away from my childhood town, and I am far away from the friends that I do have. Although this is painful, Jesus can understand and sympathize with me. Many people throughout His life didn’t accept Him and later rejected Him completely. Jesus continues to be my Best Friend, He knows me and listens to my every prayer. He is everything I need.

There are many dreams and fun things I would love to pursue that A-T prevents. Some of these smothered hopes include being a ballerina, playing the harp and other instruments, and being an Olympic figure skater or gymnast. Another is being a professional artist. I have always loved painting, drawing, and sculpting, and this disease has slowly taken these abilities away from me. But Jesus and His mercy will let me live on blissfully in Heaven for all eternity where I can dance before God’s throne and create art to His glory and praise. My dreams may be squelched here on Earth, but they will all come true in Heaven.

Another great struggle is feeling conspicuously different in society. I feel “in the way” all the time with my wheelchair, I am clumsy, and I stick out like a sore thumb. I sometimes wish that I could turn invisible because I am embarrassed. I can’t do things that most people can, and that makes me feel inferior. But Jesus helps me in this struggle too! He teaches in the Bible that I am to stand up for what I believe in, and I believe He wants us to be different. As a Christian, I am “not of this world,” my true home is in Heaven with Christ. If I stand out, I am able to be a better witness for Him.

A hard question to ask is, “Why me?” I don‘t know all the answers, but this I do know: it was God’s will. He planned it. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11  He wanted this to happen for His own purposes. I love Him and trust Him that everything will be fine, no matter how hard it is.  “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28  He has proven His love for me. I have peace of heart and of mind knowing these things to be true. I know this because He has shown me the truth through His Word.  God is not unfair. He’s compassionate and merciful and full of grace. He gives in abundance. If He were “fair” all mankind would deserve to be destroyed because of sin.  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23  “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23  Throughout all of the physical and emotional struggles that I face daily with A-T, my Jesus is there to help me through and give me hope. One of my favorite verses is John 16:33: “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.”

visit this link to find out more about A-T and research to find a cure.

Smiling

So, Jesus is always good and faithful.  Isn't that mind-blowing to think about?  Even when a sinner (such as me) gets hopeful in things seen instead of hoping in the only One that will never fail.  I have been craving earthly security, especially with having NO money, no health insurance, uncertain future...  It took some gentle prodding by my wonderful husband and a lot of tears to remember that there is NO earthly security!  Sigh.  I still think that health insurance would be nice, but if we don't have it right now, that means Jesus decided we do not need it.  We do not need health insurance and jobs that actually make money if Jesus doesn't give them to us.  He will supply ALL of our NEEDS.  I recently applied for a job that was perfect and I thought I actually had a chance at it, instead of sending resumes out into the depressing void of the economy.  When I found out that the job had only been posted for promoting an internal employee, I was very upset and hopeless, thus the need for Jesus to slap me across the face. :)

On a much lighter note, we went to the band concert at Wheatland High, conducted by my amazing father!  He had 4 ensembles play: the jazz band, the concert/beginning band, the percussion ensemble, and the symphonic band.  Rob (my brother) was in the jazz band and he had an especially great piano solo (wooo!).  It was great, and I am so proud to be related to such amazing musicians.  (And I can't wait until I can teach...)

ALSO, there are finally pictures up on Facebook of our new apartment!  Here is my favorite:

and maybe one more for good measure:

We are so happy in this wonderful place, Jesus is so good to us.  Please continue to pray for jobs that are good (as long as Jesus so desires). 

And one last fun update, I went to see the Chorale perform a week ago, as they were in this area on tour!  I don't think they had any idea how awesome it was to see them.  As I have not made very many friends up here, being able to hug several people dear to my heart was SO refreshing, not to mention the music.  And as if the night couldn't get any better, Dr. Plew had me (surprise) conduct Chorale's signature piece at the end of the concert (as he is wont to do)!! :)  It was pretty nerve-racking to get up in front of Chorale and conduct a song I haven't heard in a year, but we sang it so many times that it just came from my soul and made me soar.  It was wonderful.  Thanks, guys.

Well despite sharing some struggles at the beginning of this post and a mildly rough week, we are still happy and trusting Jesus and learning how to smile all the time. :)  Currently looking forward to summer!  yay!

37 happinesses

Well... I wish I had a million hours and good internet to spend a long time on this blog post, but I dernt.

Our new place is FABULOUS.  I have taken pictures, and I hope to get them up soon.  Here are 37 reasons in random order why I love our new apartment:

1. the kitchen sink (actually big enough to put dinner dishes in... it's stainless steel and it has two sides)
2. the garbage disposal
3. electrical outlets that connect to light switches
4. you can't see the bedroom from the kitchen
5. full sized fridge that lets you put stuff in the door
6. a huge oven/stove (YAY!)
7. storage for cookie sheets under the oven
8. a dishwasher (although it's not the best)
9. a washer and dryer!
10. space above the cupboards for pretty things (and breadmakers that don't fit inside any cupboards)
11. a fan above the stove that works
12. big windows with blinds (hallelujah!)
13. a balcony (now we need a BBQ)
14. no mud!!!!! (I live surrounded by concrete, praise the Almighty!)
15. the entryway - leave your shoes at the door, thank you :)
16. a closet where my clothes don't drag on the floor  (sigh of contentment)
17. carpet - new and clean!  
18. a bathroom door!! with a lock! (you can come visit now and not be embarrassed)
19. a tub for baths - I just might have taken 3 already (within one week)
20. a bedroom door
21. a front door that doesn't let in the bugs or the cold or the dirt...
22. room on the kitchen counters to set out my beautiful Kitchenaid mixer (goofy grin)
23. non-white walls
24. storage in the top of the closet - amazing.
25. a toilet without rusting brass hinges
26. kitchen floor that isn't warping
27. a linen closet - what luxury!
28. a coat closet - oh, heaven!
29. a kitchen faucet that turns on and off the correct direction
30. a bathroom sink your hands fit in
31. the ability to use our boxsprings under our mattress
32. having two sides of the bed so we don't have to climb over each other to get to the clothes or the bathroom
33. the air conditioning and heater controlled by us at all times!
34. enough light in the bathroom to see while I shave or try to put makeup on (I had daily makeup streaks with the old place)
35. a peephole in the front door.  (sorry! not home! just kidding)
36. a full sized ceiling fan
37. the fact that strange landlords don't come knocking at your door asking you to kill rats with a shovel.  (obviously a story for another time)

I hope you are grateful for your house or apartment.  It really does change your life.

No new jobs yet, but several leads and much more hope!  Corey is acing culinary school and bringing me home food now that the school is down the street.  YESH!

...AND... I've been cooking!  So far it's a bunch of mom's recipes so they're familiar, but turns out it's kinda fun!  I can't wait until we have more money to buy more ingredients to make more stuff. :)  On mother's day, Corey and I fed the family and did all the cooking.  (that's a big deal)  It was delicious and you should be jealous.  I wish I had more time to tell you about it in detail, but I will leave you with the fact that my husband is awesome and shirred eggs are fabulous.

Praise Jesus!

A Challenge

So I think it's about time I introduced my sister and a huge chunk of my life to this blog.  I'm fairly certain that most readers know already about my sister Cathryn and Ataxia-Telangiectasia, but the thought crossed my mind that maybe some of you don't!  And what a HUGE part of my life to leave out!  I'll try to be brief and thorough at the same time as an introduction to what we did this weekend!

My 18 year old sister Cathryn has a rare, degenerative disorder with no cure.  Without getting too in depth, the disorder affects the cerebellum and over time, A-T kids lose muscle control.  They are also plagued with a crippled immune system like an AIDS patient.  There are so many intricacies of this disease and so many struggles.  If you can imagine every muscle in your body slowly quitting being obedient to your brain... then you might have an idea.  That affects reading, writing, walking, talking, breathing, coughing, eating, swallowing... and many A-T kids do not live past their 20s due to something relatively simple such as pneumonia or cancer, which is very common.  Cathryn is currently doing about average for an A-T kid, bound to a wheelchair consistently, getting nutrition and liquids from a feeding tube, and getting sick about once a month.  But praise Jesus, she has hope in eternal life where she can sing, dance, draw, and jump up and down in Heaven.

It is not really possible for me to put into words the emotion that comes with having a family member who is "handi-capable" as Sue Sylvester would put it.  (I know, how nerdy).  I wish I could eloquently describe the struggle, the heartache, and the guilt, but it is too deep for words.  My whole family suffers together, each day bringing a new set of challenges.  My mother especially is one to be praised, prayed for, appreciated, and loved.  She is Cathryn's 24/7 nurse, nurturer, teacher, and so many other roles, and her whole life is dedicated to taking care of her daughter - a long and hard journey.

In 2007, a family friend of ours decided to take action with the A-T Children's Project to help find a cure.  He took upon a feat of running 63 marathons in 63 days.  Just in case you didn't know, a marathon is about 26 miles.  He pushed a stroller everywhere he ran with a sign honoring an A-T kid (there's only about 500 in the US) or sometimes with the A-T kid actually in the stroller!  Again, I cannot even begin to describe what an amazing thing this was to the A-T families.  We are such a small community, and no one even knows about the disorder, let alone wants to help.  Tim ran across the US, increasing awareness and giving hope to so many people.

A documentary was made called "Feat" and it not only follows our friend Tim Borland, it provides an excellent picture of what A-T is like by interviewing families.  Our family was one of those families, especially as it was because of meeting Cathryn that Tim was inspired.  It's been screening for about a year.  The premiere last year was while I was in Israel, so I was unable to make it, but Friday there was another screening in Monterey, and I was finally able to go!

 this is Grams Achilles, Mom, Cathryn, me and Mr. Man.

this is Mr. Man semi-reluctantly posing with the movie poster for me.

For more about the Feat Move go www.featmovie.com.  It will be coming to video very soon, probably in the next couple months.

I realized something this weekend going to the screening and talking to Tim Borland for a while:  I have been scared to be open about my sister and our struggles.  I could be so much more "gung-ho" about the fundraisers, about increasing awareness, about the whole cause!  It just hits so deep sometimes that I shy away from it.  I've been able to be away at college, living on my own, and putting it out of my mind to an extent.  I am truly ashamed that I let my own deep pain get the best of me and prevent me from being a bigger part of a greater cause.

Therefore I am telling you about it.  I am challenging you to be interested.  I am challenging you to be a part of something bigger than yourself, as cliche as that sounds.  Go to www.atcp.org and read up on the disorder; be aware.  I am really only asking you at this point to be interested, because I know how easy it is to not care.  I am constantly inspired by friends of mine who are dedicated to helping people, whether it's Haitians or Chinese orphans... my cause is A-T.  Join me!  If you are interested in doing more than just caring, there are many ways you can help out if you are so inclined, buying A-T paraphernalia off the website, being a part of the Disneyland 5k and half marathon this coming September, or even making a donation.

I am soon hoping to put up the text to a booklet I helped Cathryn write last week that you see in the picture below.  It is a magnificent testament to the struggle of the disease and how my dear sister holds on to Jesus as her Rock and her Hope.

I don't like mushrooms.

So I'm starting to despair about the fact that we will most likely be internet-less when we move in 1 1/2 weeks.  It's amazing how empty a computer is without internet to me.  And how lonely it is.  I got a taste of this the past couple days when our landlords fried their wireless router and didn't get it fixed until this morning.  Of course the two internet-less days happened to be the days that Mr. Man is gone at school all day long!  Turns out I really rely on the internet to feel connected with people (no duh).  I moved far away from my close friends, and the way I keep in touch is on the 'puter!  When we move to Sac, I will also be farther away from my family.  Time to pray that our job/money situation improves drastically enough to afford internet.  Or that my friends magically move to NorCal down the street from our new apartment. :)

Speaking of money, I hate it.  I hate how hard it is to come by.  And to be honest, I hate how hard it is to separate money and material possessions from happiness.  That's something Jesus and I are working on right now, and it's definitely a struggle.  But on top of that ongoing struggle, we have little money for the things that we actually need!  Eeek.  The Lord has been SO faithful to us and has provided for us for the past 3 1/2 months, but it sure is feeling thin these days.  I understand that I need to trust Jesus, it just helps me to share the struggle "out loud."  If you are so inclined, please pray that the Lord will continue to provide work for Corey and I and that we will not have to pull our hair out over the monthly bills.  I'm sure many other people need the same prayer.

But really, economy, will you ever look up?  I mean, what an awful time to be a recent college graduate and a newlywed in this society.  Not that I regret a thing, it's just hard to have hope when everything is so desolate.  I should have been a nurse... or an accountant.  Not really, but the job security would be nice.  Jesus knows that I love music, that it is in my soul, and that it's what I'm meant to do.  Just His timing, not mine.

What a joy it is to have hope in eternity, though!  This world and this life is only temporary!  Imagining life without this hope is so desolate, no wonder depression abounds and the only thing that "fixes" it is medicine.  I have Something much greater than medicine!

And how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband.  He is so patient and helps me remember to trust Jesus and hope in things not seen.  I am so proud of how hard he is working in school!  There has been a lot of homework, commuting so long has been rough for us, but to hear him brag about his cream of mushroom soup when he got home at 12:30am last night made me so happy!  ... even if I was half asleep.
...and I don't like mushrooms.

LBP

OK, ok, so I play some video games.  My soulmate loves them, therefore I love them.  But not to the same degree, of course.  And he really does like good games.  He doesn't own any of those shoot-em-up games with guts spilling out everywhere... or big nasty bugs attacking you... or zombie scariness.  He only plays those at friend's houses, haha.  Most of our games are Nintendo, like Super Mario Bros, Animal Crossing (my favorite!), WiiFit, Guitar Hero, and a few others. 

Our most recent acquisition however, is for our PS3: Little Big Planet.  This is not Nintendo... there's no Mario and you can't shake your remote to make you jump higher... instead you get to be a little sack guy.  Lucky for me it's still not entirely 3D, and I can still control the little guy.  (You shoulda seen me try to play Halo once.  bahaha!)  The entire setting is made out of fabric and cardboard, and you go around the world conquering levels.  The best part of the game in my opinion is that you get costumes and things to dress up with.  You can change the fabric you're made out of... colors or patterns, add hair, add clothes/hats, choose your eyes, even have a tail if you want.  Being a girl, this especially appeals to me.  I think I am currently a little indian girl with a feather headband and a fringe dress... and my fabric has wild stripes in fun colors.  The level we were playing last night was in Mexico, and we were trying to find some guy's uncle hiding in a mine?  (Of course, all the animals and the people in the game are made out of fabric and moving parts)  So far I actually feel competent enough so that Corey isn't completely bored to death playing with me.  I still die 3x as much as he does, but oh well.  I have really been having fun playing it!  It's an extremely creative game.  Eventually we can create our own levels with items we collect in all the worlds. 

My only bad experience so far with this game was the level in South America with scorpions.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I am freaked out beyond all reason by scorpions (and that person who threatened to put them in my bed more than once traumatized me for life).  It really is unfounded fear, I have never had a bad experience with one, but nevertheless, it is a very serious fear and I am second guessing whether I should put it on the internet.  There are some psychos out there.  Luckily I don't think psychos read my blog.  (I hope) Anyways, I had to put my remote down and cover my eyes and Corey's little sack guy (he has antlers and a tux and a magic wand) had to drag me in a cart past that part of the game.  Sigh, he's so patient.

Other than playing Little Big Planet, we haven't been doing very much!  We move in two weeks, yay!

And I am totally addicted to Dancing with the Stars.  Evan Lysacek must win.  And Kate Gosselin, I'm sorry but you really can't dance.

Here I sit...

...next to my loving husband as he works on his homework. He is currently defining a huge list of cooking terms, such as the official meaning for words like "dice" and "broth" or foreign words I've never heard of like "brunoise" or "chiffonade." Of course most of the foreign words are French, we know how the French love their food. Even after he tells me what they mean, I don't remember, but I can pronounce it all! He had his first classes last Monday and Tuesday (ALL DAY LONG) and his comments indicated that he was not discouraged from loving it or being excited, but it was going to be a LOT of work. He has night classes both nights until 11pm, and right now he is commuting over an hour one way, so I basically don't see him Mondays or Tuesdays. So far he has a wild story about one student cutting the tip of his finger off... ew. Culinary school is not for crystals. I'm praying every day that all of Corey's fingers stay intact. He's made some potatoes this week, practicing the special cuts. It really is quite exciting.

In other news, I decided to stay for now with my current job (DMH Mechanical). The job market is... awful, to pick one adjective, and I will not have worked at DMH for one year until July. Most administrative jobs require at least 1 year of experience. So while I am only working 20 hours a week right now, I have the assurance of returning to full time when the summer heat starts up. You know, when stores and companies' air conditioning quits and their customers leave, they'll call us. I also have picked up one voice student (YAY!!) in Wheatland, and I am sure that I can aquire more because of my dad's choir and band students if I knew I could commit to being in Wheatland weekly. I have no networking in Sacramento to begin teaching lessons, and I can charge much more independently than I could with an agency. So all that to say that working at DMH while teaching lessons in Wheatland could work out really nicely. We'll see how it goes once we move in 3 weeks, get settled, see what kind of part-time job Corey gets, etc. But I am very happy to settle with DMH for now, I like working there and I like being good at what I do. It would be sad to have to learn another company and be "new" at a job again.

We had a wonderful Easter last weekend, celebrating with both mine and Corey's parents all at once! We played games and ate WAY too much food. I surprised Mr. Husband Man with an Easter basket full of goodies that I had been planning for several weeks. I had strategically hidden everything in the trunk of the car (there's nowhere to hide anything in this itty-bitty house) and when I woke up Sunday morning, I tried VERY hard to sneak out of bed, throw a sweatshirt on, slip on Corey's Rainbows and make it out to the car without him waking up. I made it all the way out to the car and back inside when I realized there was one more thing out in the car that I forgot, and in my process of sneaking out again, he woke up and looked at me in my jammies and sweatshirt and hood sneaking out the door and said "What on earth are you doing?" I pouted and said, "Go back to sleep and don't look!" then finished his basket. Almost made it. But he was a happy boy, and he didn't even suspect ahead of time that he would get a basket. :) Here is our first married Easter picture:

Yes, we both got haircuts. Corey had to trim his beard further than this picture for school. I'll admit I like the shaggy version of Mr. Man just a little bit better, but I s'pose keeping beard hair out of the food he makes sounds reasonable. And as for my haircut, I really wanted something that would help me look older, I am 23 for goodness sakes, not in high school. (I know you're thinking, "Be happy you look younger, you'll wish it was that way in a few years, haha"). Ba-humbug, I want people to respect me as a professional adult. I'm not sure if the haircut accomplishes this or not... we'll see.

Psychic Spring Hitchhikers

This is my current favorite wedding picture for your viewing pleasure:
(our photographers website here)



There's not a whole lot to report since my last post... Corey starts school in two weeks. He got his schedule, and he will be at school ALL day Mondays and Tuesdays (until 11pm). That will definitely be different! We are stoked, though. We are going to his orientation on the first of April and he gets his cool knife set and fun uniform, hehe. Our job situation is the same, but we quit the petitions job. It was just too much. Instead of relying on that income, I applied for unemployment because I am only working part time. It's temporary until I can find a real job, hopefully after we move. There are definitely hard days where it is easy to loose sight of the wonderful things, but the Lord is continually providing for us.

Also, I LOVE spring. I always forget how much I love it until it is here. I love the sun and I love tree blossoms. It's just such a hopeful time of year, what a wonderful time to begin our new adventure!

In our spare time, Mr. Man and I have been watching a LOT of Psych. We are humungonous Psych fans. And of course, we are still playing WiiFit... I love doing the Yoga. I wish I would have had it in college! It would have helped so much with singing!!

In other random news, I picked up a hitchhiker the other day. I have always secretly wanted to... I know, I'm strange... I was on my way home from work, and a very harmless lady was standing there with just her purse. I motioned her to come into the car and drove about 10 minutes to the gas station in Penn Valley and dropped her off there. It was rather uneventful... she talked about how her son wouldn't give her a ride anymore and something about getting outside. She had very slurred speech, so I'm still not quite sure of her story. She offered to pay me for gas when we got to the Chevron, which I guiltily pondered for a minute, but assured her that she didn't need to. What would be the point of picking up a hitchhiker if they were going to pay you!

The Next Chapter...

Well, I have been waiting to post for several weeks about some big new things, and I finally have the opportunity to! :)

Exciting thing #1: My husband is officially going to culinary school.

This is something that was lurking in the back of Corey's head for a while as something he would always love to do, and after he was having trouble finding work, it seemed like a nice thought. When he first mentioned it to me, I was a little surprised, but we started looking into it. We ended up picking the Art Institute of California - Sacramento, and we just got word on Thursday that he was accepted. Of course, we'd already had a meeting where we saw the campus, he'd been measured for a uniform, and everything was in place but the actual acceptance letter... therefore the delay in being able to tell the world! He is enrolled in the Art of Cooking program, which lasts for 5 quarters (1 year and 3ish months) and awards a diploma. After talking to some people we trust, we decided this was the best option to jump-start a cooking career for Mr. Man. We are SO excited! We are trusting Jesus to provide financially as we have confidence that this is His plan. Corey starts April 5th.

Exciting thing #2: We are moving to Sacramento!

Penn Valley to Sacramento is just over an hour. Therefore, for Corey to try to go to school there AND hold a part time job, we needed to move to Sacramento. This was only reiterated when I was moved to part-time at my job. The city will provide so many more opportunities! We went a couple weeks ago to apply at an apartment complex in the Natomas area (the nicer part) and we officially put on hold an apartment for move-in on May 1st! Unfortunately it could not be earlier because our lease here is not up until April. BUT we are SO elated about this apartment. It has a dishwasher, washer and dryer, DOORS inside the house, a REAL kitchen sink... It's one bedroom for an extremely reasonable price. The complex is gated with pools and tennis courts (which we are excited about) and even a fitness center. We can't see why we would ever want to move! Well, that's a slight exaggeration, but compared to where we are now, it's going to be paradise. So we just have to wait for two months... meaning for one month Corey will need to commute.

Slightly difficult thing #1 - My job situation

I need a new job! Especially because Corey will be in school, I need a job that will pay me well and that has benefits. We are currently living without health insurance and that is not comfortable! I have a grand dilemma about whether to look for work in Sacramento starting now, 2 months before we move, and commute VERY far, or to find alternate methods of floating above water until the move. So far, it looks like the latter.

Slightly difficult thing #2 - One of those "alternate methods"

For the last week or so, Corey and I have been sitting in front of stores asking people to sign signatures on CA petitions. We decided to do it because it pays almost $1 per signature, and we were assured we could make 400ish a week doing it part time. (So if someone asks you to sign in the next month or so, don't hate them) There are several problems with this, however... the first major one being that we hate it. I can pretend wonderfully that I like "sales" but I really really dislike it. I thought I enjoyed it for a while, but the pressures of persuading people to do something really caught up to me. Corey is not a people person whatsoever, so we are very unfit for this. Also, we pretty much don't like politics at all, judge as you will. So the angry voters out there try to argue with us about issues, and we really don't know what they're talking about. On top of all that, it's not proving to be as lucrative as we anticipated. Probably because we are bad at it. So do we quit? Or "suck it up, cupcake!"

Slightly difficult thing #3 - We are increasingly disliking our little residence.

The Lord gives us strength and I am grateful to have a place to live, but it just compounds our difficult situation to live in a place like this! We are fairly confident the neighbors (to whose house we are attached) are growing marijuana and it constantly smells. The walls are very thin and they have been doing work on the room with the shared wall to our place, so there is constant banging and we can hear everything they're saying. We don't like to think that they can hear us though, or we might go crazy from lack of privacy. The smallness of the place gets very noticeable as soon as we've been too busy to do the dishes for a couple days because you can't stack them in the small sink!

Exciting thing #4 - We have picked up tennis

We love tennis, and we've been playing it, especially since I work part time! I'm so lucky to has a husband who can love a non-sporty klutz trying to play tennis. :)

Exciting thing #5 - We got WiiFit!

We actually only got it yesterday, as the entirety of NorCal has been out of stock since my birthday, when I was originally s'posed to get it. It is AWESOME! I will probably write more on it later, as I haven't played it quite enough yet... but so far the rhythm kung-fu is rather amazing.

Slightly difficult thing #4 - I miss music.

My soul aches every day at the thought of teaching music and going back to school, but now is not the time. (I did pick up one voice student though!! YAY!) I am holding out for a little bit of hope that my next job could possibly be in a school somewhere? And yes, I've thought about substitute teaching, it's on the potentials list. :)

Overall point - God has an amazing adventure planned for us!

Although "times is hard," and the next two months are going to be interesting, we are so excited for what's on the horizon. We praise God for being in control of our marriage adventure and for providing for our needs. Moving to Sacramento also means we will need to find a new church, and we know that He already has one waiting for us to dive in! He is so good, and we are so grateful to Him!

Thorny ways

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

- Verses 1 and 2 of the Hymn "Be Still My Soul"
Words: Katharina von Schlegel, 1752. Music: Jean Sibelius, 1899

I need these words this week, and probably the next two months. More on that later, for now I can tell you that I got demoted to part time work this week, so my husband is still unemployed and I only have a part time job. Good thing Jesus is in control, and I fully believe that.

Compassion

Wikipedia defines "compassion" as a human emotion prompted by the pain of others.

I've been praying for the Lord to open up His compassion for people in my heart. In my own world of hardships, my heart had closed to those I didn't know. I could feel for people I knew, people close to me, but beyond that no sorrow touched my heart.

The world is lost without Jesus. The world is suffering... whether it is physical suffering such as starvation or disease, or whether it is inner suffering of a soul tormented by no hope. I want to care.

You might be thinking how harsh that is. How could I not care that people are hurting? How could I not want to share what has given me life, hope, assurance? I'm human, and I have learned in this life that humans are depraved (besides it being Biblical). I've hardened myself with the idea that those without Jesus just WANT it that way. I've been turned away from compassion by people trying to force Christ's rules on others, rather than sharing Christ himself. And as for the physical suffering, it was easy to pretend it didn't exist.

I have not made any huge strides in this area, but the Lord has started opening my heart at least to the suffering of the people of Haiti. Imagining having no water, food, shelter... AND no hope in a God who can save you? I don't have a lot of money or even emotional energy to commit to helping the people of Haiti, but the Lord has laid on my heart the desire to give what little I can, especially in prayer. This is new. Even though the Lord has given Corey and me very little these days, we are thriving compared to others.

The Lord has used people like Angela Fairfield and her fiery passion for the people of Haiti to open my eyes. She told me about a small orphanage in Haiti that takes in groups of siblings so they don't have to be separated. The organization is called Bosko, their website is here, and they are not only helping their orphans, but their community in the aftermath of the earthquake. It helps me to have a specific, personal group to connect with.

This post is not to guilt trip anyone into doing anything, just sharing my heart. If you happen to be interested then it's Jesus' doing, not mine.

"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:12-13

23 Birfday Things

So yesterday was my birfday, I turned 23, and I thought a fun way to tell everyone (like the 3 people that read this) about the event would be in 23 points:

1. I still had to get up at 6am and go to work, but I got to hug my husband and hear him sleepily mumble "happy birthday, my love"

2. The toaster oven smoked a little in the morning because there was cheese on the heating element and because our place is so small, it set the smoke alarm off at 7:15am. Poor Mr. Man.

3. I wore my cream colored sweatshirt to work, and after getting in the car, promptly put my elbow right on my peanut butter toast and got peanut butter EVERYWHERE, staining the dang sweatshirt. I am never as klutzy as I am in that sweatshirt. Why is that?!

4. The sky was beautiful on the way to work... the end of the sunrise made the blanket of clouds gold and blue.

5. I made at least 2 really stupid mistakes within the first 10 minutes of work, and had to call people back and feel like a fool.

6. Our fax machine went down, and I spent almost all day on the phone with Comcast. Apparently, AT&T STOLE our fax number that we've had for 3 years. Nobody at Comcast wanted to do their job yesterday. Good grief.

7. My boss took me to Chili's for lunch because it was my birthday. I got a chicken wrap thing that was AWESOME. It's one of their new menu items. I love Chili's.

8. I left work 5 minutes late because the fax line was still down, by the end of the day it was sort of humorous, but we lost a lot of business.

9. My parents, Cathryn, and Rob (my siblings) were waiting outside of my work when I walked out to sing me happy birthday and give me balloons. :) Surprise! (we had already celebrated officially on Saturday) Note: driving with balloons in the car is very interesting.

10. They reminded me about the fact that they're still trying to find someplace that has Wii Fit in stock, and that I will get it soon (they didn't get it in time for my birthday). YAY! I have to quit Curves because we don't have the money, now I have an alternative method of exercise and fun. hehe.

11. Mr. Man called me and asked me to pick up plastic wrap and "whatever I wanted to drink with dinner" on my way home. I bought cherry coke. (We've had a little too much Dr. Pepper lately, or else I woulda chosen that)

12. The drive home must have taken a million hours longer than normal... I knew my husband had made me dinner and was waiting for me.... I kept trying not to set my romantic hopes toooo high, it was the first time he had planned something and I knew it wouldn't be elaborate. (Don't worry about that statement sounding rude to my husband, he would totally agree with me, you can ask him)

13. I walked up to the door, and Mr. Love-of-my-Life opened it with the cutest grin in the world and said "Happy Birthday" He had the table all set with candles and everything (just like I had hoped for)!

14. After I put all my stuff down he hugged me and asked me if I was hungry. I said, "not exactly yet" and he said, "me neither, lets eat!" He had planned too early for the dinner to be done because he was too excited. eeeeeeee.

15. He made gourmet bacon pasta, as I am calling it, and I was SO impressed. It had bacon, red bell pepper, green olive, and a bunch of seasonings and spices in a butter sauce. He tried extra hard to make sure it didn't have anything that could potentially hurt my tummy (there are a lot these days) and it was SO delicious. You would like it too and be just as impressed as I was. It was full of flavor. Yum.

16. He made a special playlist to play during dinner, with a bunch of our favorite romantic music.

17. He told me I wasn't allowed to do any dishes.

18. He watched Sense and Sensibility with me! The first Jane Austen that he's seen, and he paid attention the whole time and actually followed the story. You can ask him what he thought about it, I won't give it away. :) But seriously, how lucky am I?!

19. Next we ate cake (pronounced "kehk"). Our monthaversary is today, and we were instructed by our cake lady (Barbara at Valentine's Cakes) to eat our wedding cake topper for our one MONTH-aversary rather than our one year. We have plans tonight with family, so we decided to eat it for my birthday. yuuuuuuuummy.

20. We ended the evening with catching up on the most recent episode of Psych - basically our favorite show EVER. Corey always predicts the ending way ahead. Smarty pants.

21. He didn't give me a gift this year (the dinner was my gift) because of our financial situation, but the dinner and quality time together was better than any gift he's ever given me before. :)

22. The only thing I missed about past birthdays was Dr. Plew sitting down at the piano with a flourish, and leading whatever choir was in front of him at the time in a well-harmonized Happy Birthday.

23. I have the best husband in the world and while my birthday had its "everyday" moments, it was such a happy and relaxed birthday! And this blog post is pretty cheesy, but I don't care. Maybe it's 'cause of all the bad-for-me food I've had in the last 3 days. hehe.

Comfy

So we've almost been married for 1 month, and I have officially picked one word that describes our marriage so far: "comfy..."
... or "comfortable" if you prefer a more formal vocabulary word. But I think the informality of the word "comfy" is exactly the point. And it looks cute typed out.

Of course, not everything is comfy. Our financial situation is anything but comfy. Corey's lack of job is not comfy. Our little house has some comfy points, but the little sink is not comfy... the lack of doors is not comfy... the neighbors are not comfy...

But us? We are comfy. Comfy in our love and trust for each other. Comfy in the Lord's sovereignty over our future. Comfy getting to hug each other as long as we want. Comfy visiting family together. Comfy praying together. Comfy laughing at having frozen pizza and mac 'n cheese over and over.

*Sigh* - cause that's a comfy sound.